Oh, Pretty Woman
by team-hybrid8
Summary: Edward owns the town. Bella works the street corner. Edward needs a girl. Bella needs the cash. In order to survive their lives they must fake it. And fake it good. The game of Life has never been so rough. Rated M: Language&Lemons.
1. Choking and Handjobs

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own Twilight...yet. But my horoscope says I should be getting paid today :)

Chapter One: Choking and Handjobs

People like to say I'm cocky. That I'm rude. That I'm distant. That I'm the biggest asshole to walk the planet. Funny, that they never point out their faults. Also funny, I realized I don't give a flying fucking pancake what they think. For when it's the end of the day and they wonder if I'm thinking about them, I never am but that's beside the point, I remember the one thing that does matter:  
I'm Edward Anthony Cullen.

"Alice, get in here," I call to my younger sister. With her short pixie hair cut and generally short stature she looks like Tinkerbelle with a major 'tude twist.

"Edward?" Alice taps me on the shoulder and widens her eyes innocently. I don't even have to tell her I'm pissed anymore. She just expects it. And my parents say we don't understand each other. "What's wrong?" 

I ignore her faulty concern and toss the envelope to her as I go to stand behind the cash register. This is my store. A book store. If you go next door you will be in my instrument shop. And next to that, my tutoring center. And a block away, my hotel. Yeah, I pretty much run this town. Forks was nothing before I got off the plane five years ago. 21 and naive I decided to invest all of my inheritance in one stock. Now 26 I can see I was foolish. Thankfully, I've always had luck and have usually gotten what I wanted. The single stock made me a multi millionaire over night and the W.C.C. was born. A dream comes true.

Alice started laughing. Loudly. My few customers looked up in fright as the tinkling laugh became more of a hysterical maniacal sound. "What...is...THIS?" Alice laughed and smoothed out the contents of the envelope so she could read the letter more thoroughly. I felt my upper lip curl and quickly snatched the paper out of her hand. She protested but quickly dismissed that notion when she saw my boiling rage.

"I figured it was your handiwork, Alice, but seeing your reaction I guess it is not after all. My mistake," I pinch the bridge of my nose and take deep breaths. Must not get angry. Must not get angry at Alice. Must stay calm.

"I didn't know you swung that way, Eddie," Alice laughed and went to toss out some nasty customers left over croissant.

"Alice you should know I do not find pleasure in having another man cork my ass," I smile slightly and watch her wrinkle her nose in disgust.

"I should hope not, Jasper would be so upset that you hadn't told him years ago," her eyes got misty as she thought of her boyfriend and my best friend. Stupid saps they were. 

"Why's that? I didn't think he'd be interested in corking me himself. And I wasn't even aware he was like that..." I chided her and her fists balled up defensively. Forced to continue because of her reaction, "Pity, I don't see how he imagines you as a man but, hey, anything's possible I guess." I walk to Alice and kiss her on the forehead. She wants to rip off my balls and use them for hockey pucks I'm sure.

I look around my shop and head over to an elderly man who can't reach the top shelf. "May I?" I assist and he nods graciously. I hand him the book on fishing and look back at Alice. "Alice?" She perks her ears up and looks at me expectantly. For the apology. "At this angle I can see the man aspect Jasper sees!"

"EDWARD CULLEN!" and that's when Alice lunges and my world goes dark.

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"Alice, why? C'mon, you know Edward. He was just trying to get a rise out if you. Don't play into it next time or they will charge you with attempted murder."

"It won't be attempted, Jazz. I will kill him. I WILL. He can't get away with everything..."

"What happened anyway? What were you guys talking about?"

"He said I looked like a man..."

"Yes, baby, I got that. Before that?" 

"Oh, someone signed him up for a gay dating website and he blamed me. How would I know if he's gay? He doesn't talk to anyone besides the family, you, and...EMMETT!" Alice's voice went shrill and the floor started to creak. Emmett must have arrived. 

I should probably wake up and tell them all is well and Alice didn't choke me that bad. But still. She did choke me until I blacked out so I think I will just let her sweat a bit. And now they are discussing my sexual orientation so I might as well hear what they have to say.

"Emmett! Did you sign up Edward for that gay match site we were talking about?" Alice raged. Without even opening my eyes I knew the scene in front of me must have been hysterical. Small, highly feminine Alice jumping into the face space of Emmett, the man with the size equivalent to a grizzly bear. "Did you?" Alice screeched again. 

"I thought that was the plan..." Emmett said slowly. I hope they have room for another bed in here because Alice is really gonna choke him now. Wow...such violence in such a tiny person is a lethal combination.

"NO! The plan was to set Edward up with Tanya! The dancer from my dance studio! The leggy strawberry blonde with a smart ass attitude! The female version of him! Not... A... Man!" Alice was out of breath and leaning against my bed for support. Hmm now may be the perfect time to wake my pretty self up.

"Mom? Dad?" I opened my eyes with a look of what I hope is perceived as bewildered. Alice shook with joy and lunged again. I closed my eyes waiting for the choking but it never came. Instead I was grabbed around the shoulders in a tight hug. "Alice? What did you do to me this time?" 

Alice let go and sheepishly looked down at her feet. "I sorta choked you...nothing major. You just hit your head on the book shelf. If you didn't pack the store so tightly we would be having this conversation there," Alice scolded me and let out a small dry sob.

"I'm sure it is my entire fault. Next time you choke me I will stay awake long enough to move into an open area, just for you, sis," I winked and rolled my eyes. "So when am I free to go? Now, right? We have that presentation to get together, Jasper. How is that coming along?" my tone returned to it's cold and calculating normalcy. No one moved. No one spoke. No one blinked. "Excuse me? Is there a problem?" Still no movement. "Hello? Earth to people?"Alice stepped forward and took my hand. "Edward you've been out for three days...the client pulled out. They were a Christian Society..." Alice explained carefully. I didn't see the connection between my company and religion. There wasn't one. "We had to rush you to the hospital...we forgot to shred the mail..." still no connection being drawn."I didn't shred the gay match confirmation letter." *click*

"What? They pulled out because they think I'm gay? Filthy hypocrites! Their chairman Mike Newton is incredibly gay! You need to pour water on him to keep the flame at bay! I mean I have no problem with people loving the same gender! Woohoo for them! But I love pussy! I love women! I love boobs! How the fuck can I be gay?" My attention turned to Emmett. The Reason. "EMMETT! How could you do this to me man? This was a huge account! I hope your chuckle was a good one because I am going to kill you!" Emmett paled and stood behind Alice. Coward! "Who was my match anyways?" I asked curiously. 

"Mike Newton..." all three of them said in unison. Of course he is. That's why he pulled out. I knew his secret. I could have ruined him. Just like he ruined me. There was one thing I needed to fix this. I need a chick.

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It shouldn't be so goddamn hard to find a chick. Honestly. I'm Edward Cullen. Girls should be flocking to my side just to touch me. It'd be an honor to "date" me. Yeah, like I'm actually looking for a relationship. Hahahahaha...no. Never. I don't need one of those. I just need that contract back. Or at least a bigger one to compensate for my loss. Damn, that was a big contract. It would've paid for the new house in Volterra. But nooo now I have to pay on a monthly basis like a Nobody. This is exactly why I liked being rich. Knowing I was better. But now because Emmett thought he'd be funny I'm less of Somebody.

I kicked off my shoes and curled up into my sheepskin chair. Yeah I look like a chick but I'm pretty comfy. I close my eyes and imagine Her. The One. Not that I've met her but I know who I want her to be. Smart. Sexy as fuck. Funny. And Perfect. I opened my eyes and picked up my magazine of the week. "Hello...Leah..." I mumble as I take it the Native American beauty. Not exactly The One but she will work for tonight. I pull down my pants and greet my pride and glory, Eddie Junior. I really should think of another name for him. "Junior" really hurts his feelings. But what's done is done. This has been his name for 13 beautiful years. 

I take hold if him gently and began to stroke thoughtfully. I picture Leah coming down the stairs to my living room wearing nothing but the silk jungle themed panties I've adorned for one exact purpose: to rip them off.

"Hello, Edward," she coos a throaty sultry greeting. Without a second thought I pull her on to my lap and kiss her neck. I kiss a trail down to her breasts, softly all the way day to her pert nipples. Waiting, anticipating my arrival. I suck on each with equal force. With equal attention. Receiving an arousing moan each time from the lovely Leah. I swirl my tongue around each nipple. Finally satisfied that she has peaked two delectable mounds.

"Have you been a good girl, Leah?" I groan against her mouth. She shakes her head and wiggles in my lap. "I guess then I will have to punish you." Leah involuntarily crashes on to me with the weight of my words. Her weight on my cock almost makes me come right then. But I wait. I always wait for Her.

I run my hand along her back and feel her shiver. I lay her down on the couch and run my finger across her sex. She clenches her legs together and I tut. That's not polite. "Leah...I'm not going to let you come today. Being impolite has consequences. But I will allow you to make me come for you." Eddie Junior stands at attention and waits for her. Her mouth forms the perfect 'o' at the site and begins to suck. Hard. But never too hard. Faster. Longer. Taking in as much as the shaft as possible. Using her small hands for what she cannot take in. The perfect combination of her moist lips and quick handiwork.

I open my eyes to have my release when it does finally come I groan "Alice!" 

I wipe my hands on the towel next to me and shove Eddie Junior away for the night. I look back up and see Alice, red faced and close to tears. "Told ya, sis, I'm not gay. Now get the fuck out of my house so I can clean up." Alice nods and flees the house without even saying farewell to my housekeeper Sue. How rude, I chuckle darkly, maybe next time she will call in advance. 

A/N: *looks around curiously* anyone here? Drop me a line and let me know what you think. Reviews are nice things :)


	2. Burgers and Kidnapping

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight…yet. But, according to my horoscope I should be searching my heart to forgive an ex. But Hell, I'm not as selfless as Bella so I say "what horoscope?"**

**Chapter 2: Burgers and Kidnapping**

**BPOV**

I picked up my canvas bag and threw it over my shoulder and cast a last glance at the room. The yellow paint peeling off the walls, the dirt smudged on the window, the tufts of carpet that have been unearthed over years of being trampled; the room was a mess, but, it was my mess. My home, the only home I'd ever had. The only home I knew I'd ever have to call my own.

"Bella?" a small voice asked from the corner of the room, I tore my eyes away from the bad and looked at the only shining point in my life, Bree. Her thick brown hair had been pulled into a pony tail the day they shut all the utilities off, to keep the grease off her face and her cool as easily as possible. Her almond shaped eyes were full of worry and sadness now. Whereas a few years ago sadness was not even in her dictionary let alone her life. "Where are you going?" she asked in a whispery tone. She knew. She always knew.

"Bree…I'm leaving," I could not believe my own words. I never thought I would be the one to abandon my own child. "I'm sorry, baby…" I closed my eyes and listened to her breath quicken. "I can't take care of you anymore. " Bree jumped up from the floor and flung herself into my arms. "C'mon Bree, just think about it. No one will be here to yell at you. About anything! You can live your own life. It won't be so bad…"My voice faltered and I knew she had me. It would be horrible.

I am a horrible mother. There I said it. It's true after all. I'm twenty-six years old with a ten year old daughter. I have no friends. No family. No job. No anything. And because of that my daughter is suffering. Sure, she won't say anything but I see the disappointment in her eyes. If we go to the mall for free samples she looks at the kids walking around with full size meals. If we go to the park she stares at the happy family playing on the swings. When she was little it was enough for us to be just be us. When she turned eight and she realized she wasn't normal all Hell broke loose.

Age five: children go to school. I knew this. I ignored this. Bree wanted to go so badly. When we would hang out in restaurants the television would show all those Disney shows. Shows that showed children going to school. The norm in today's society. Bree looked at me thoughtfully and finally said, "Mommy, can I go to school, too?" I shook my head and suppressed a sob. "Why not?"

"Because I'd miss you too much, baby. What would I do without you all day?" I smiled and my answer appeased her for the time. Except that was when she was five. At age eight she wanted to learn. She knew the basics. 2+2=4 and c-a-t spelled cat. But she was a very bright girl and knew there was more. And that's what she craved: more. I am no teacher but I tried my best to give it to her.

Every day that I wasn't job hunting we would head the local library and I would read to her, teach her, everything I knew she should know by now. As I read _Gone with the Wind _and _Wuthering Heights_ to my eight year old daughter I knew she was special. She would question words too large for her, I would tell her to look it up. After a few months she decided she wanted to read the dictionary. I didn't stop her. Reading the dictionary lead to reading the encyclopedia. Bree was not stupid. She knew that needed to learn. I am just thankful she had the drive to try at all.

We've never been homeless before. I've always scraped by just enough to live on. I knew I could never have my daughter sink to begging, even when she offered. I knew I would never exploit her or put her at danger because of my own stupidity.

It was my fault she was here in this situation to begin with…

"Mom?" Bree whispered. She hadn't called me 'Mom' in over a year. "Can I please come with you? I will be on my best behavior…I promise."

"Of course, baby. I'm sorry too…"

A few weeks have gone by since Bree and I left our home. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be when I realized I didn't have to go alone. I still don't know what I was thinking, leaving my daughter all alone. It isn't like I won't be able to protect her. At least if I'm around she will be a little safer. It isn't like I'm on drugs. Heck, I don't even like to drink! Everything is too expensive to waste on vices like that. If I'm going to waste money I would rather waste it on a hotel room for a night. That way Bree and I can shower.

The early sun was bright orange against smoggy grey sky of Seattle. Great, another perfect day, I chuckled and nudged Bree awake. She stirred slightly and rolled away from me. Great…stubborn child! I nudged her again. No movement. I looked at my watch. Five minutes to six. We need to be out of here before the land lady wakes up. Which could be any minute now. She was pretty pissed when she found us back here a week ago. I tried not to stay here again but it was cold and she leaves a window open every night so the heat comes outside. It's like she's inviting hobos over. Hobo…hmmm, never thought I'd consider myself that. But, hey, never thought I'd have Bree either. Things change. Some for the good. Some for the bad. You just have to learn to take it all in and make yourself better because of it. Don't dwell on the bad, it makes you weak.

"Bree, if you don't wake up we're gonna be in big trouble!" I hiss and she finally stirs. She blinks several times and then gives me a brilliant grin. "You won't be smiling if that bitchy woman comes back with the broom!" Bree's smile faded slightly…only slightly but she still jumped up from her make shift bed and threw on her beanie. I tossed her my old army jacket and she put it on with ease. At ten she was starting to blossom into a beautiful girl, not that she wasn't always cute, but now, I saw some boys looking her over. It made me nervous to leave her alone. If something happened…I can't even think about it now. I have to go to an interview, four actually.

"Bella, what's for breakfast?" Bree asked as we tossed the last of our belongings into my bag. I thought it over and shrugged. "No! C'mon! Not again!" I smiled at her wickedly.

I went into the fast food joint, a different one then yesterday just in case the same people were working, and marched up to the counter. This early in the morning no one else was there but me, the cashier, and a lonely cook. Good. Today was going great. The boy behind the counter looked about sixteen and was obviously suffering two things: acne and virginity. I could only help with one but I was not into going to jail for being a pedophile. But that doesn't mean I can't get a free meal out of it.

"Hey…" I looked up at the boy from my eyelashes. Something that supposedly looks sexy and sultry. I think I look dazed and confused. He smiled nervously and fiddled with his nametag: Riley. "Hey, Riley," I tried again. He smiled revealing braces. Oh, the poor child. At his age I'd already lost all of his problems. Of course, that's probably not something I should reveal to him. "I'd ordered my meal over the phone last night, the guy said he would have it ready, is it?" Riley looked baffled and picked up a piece of paper.

"I…uh...Matt didn't say anything about a delivery…but, I could…uh…get it ready for you, if you want…"Riley stumbled while still fiddling with his nametag. Damn, fiddling pissed me off. A mom thing, I guess. So I did what I had to do. I grabbed Riley's fiddling fingers and pulled them to my chest. His fingers twitched. Then relaxed.

"Riley! Really? You would do that for me!" I cheered and gave my brightest smile. He nodded dumbly. "That makes me so…happy….Riley…do you feel how fast my heart is beating!" He nodded again allowing his eyes to stick to my breasts. I bounced from one foot to the other. "All this excitement just makes me oh so hot, Riley. Could you please add a cup of ice to my order?"

"Sure, thing….?" Riley searched for my name. I smiled and let go of his hand, he retrieved it slowly and placed it on the counter.

"Vanessa. I ordered two cheeseburgers and two large fries. I'm sort of in a hurry, so could you…?"

Riley smiled, this time not self conscious at all, "I'm right on it, Vanessa! Hey, Tyler! Pick up the slack!"

I left the fast food joint with two bags in my hand and a cup of ice in the other. I tossed a bag at Bree and she squealed with joy. I smiled and sat next to her on the bench. I watched as she ripped open the wrapping of the burger and began to devour it.

"Don't choke, Bree!" I laughed and bit into my own burger. We ate in silence and when I took our trash to the nearest dumpster and back Bree was watching me curiously. "What?"

"How did you get the guy to give you free food?" Shit. How do you tell your kid you pretty much fling yourself at a horny teenager for food? Easy. LIE. LIE. And LIE some more.

"I asked him, sweety. I told him I had a kid to feed and she ate like a ravenous dog. And, hey, he understood and gave me what I needed," I shrugged and took off her beanie. She scowled and I kissed her forehead. "You are so pretty, Bree, why do you dress like a boy?" I handed her the damn hat back and successfully changed the subject.

"Because if I look like a boy then nobody will mess with me. I watch television, Bella. Girls on the street get hurt. I don't plan on getting hurt. I know what to do. And prancing around with my legs open won't help me," Bree's words stung. She hit home with the legs comment. It sounded what my parents had said the minute I told them I was pregnant. "Besides, I like my hat." I nodded and stood up from the bench. Bree took my hand gently and we walked to the library.

"Now stay here, Bree. I will be back by closing, okay? If I'm late we will meet where we slept last night, just hide away from the crazy broom swinging nut job, okay?" Bree giggled and I kissed her on the forehead.

Interviews. Suck. Ass. Seriously, who ever makes a good first impression? I'm not what they call 'office material,' seriously. That's what they ALWAYS tell me. What does that even mean? I don't even have anyone to ask about it. All I know is I wasted my day in five different interviews. All of them ending with the apologetic look, fake no fucking doubt, and the generic response: "We don't see you as office material, Miss Swan, maybe next time. We're sorry." Bull fucking shit! If they we're truly sorry I would have a job! I would have a home! I would have a better way to feed my kid! But I don't!

I was still fuming as I stood on the street corner waiting for the light to change. I saw a man approach me so I held my purse tighter to me. I had eight bucks and had to intention of losing it to a loser like him.

"Hey, baby, how much?" He chided me. I glanced at him and turned my body further away. "C'mon baby, two hundred, three? I know you ain't cheap. I got money. I'll pay…" the man said almost desperately. I looked at him and saw that he didn't look as creepy as I had thought. He was well dressed and wearing a nametag from a place I had just interviewed at. Ah, the shitty irony.

"What?" I asked him blankly. I had an idea about but he wanted but…no. I wasn't in that profession.

"Hey, Sexy Girl! There you are!" I light feminine voice called at us. I looked over and saw a very tall blonde woman approaching. She threw her arm around me and squeezed. "Excuse me, sir. I just need to have a conversation with my main chica here, okay?" He nodded and I let the strange woman lead me away. I opened my mouth to thank her but she clapped her hand over my mouth. "Okay, I don't know who you are but I do know this isn't what you are. He's asking for what you think he's asking for and I want to know, will you give it to him?" I shivered. "Okay, I get it. You're freaked. My name's Rosalie." Such a classy name… "But, you can call me Rose. I work over at the Whitlock Hotel on Ninth Street. This isn't my job; I just keep the peace and hire out the girls to the big spenders over at the hotel. Do you understand me?"

I quickly went over the facts in my head. Rosalie worked at a hotel. She managed 'the girls,' and sent them to high paying men. This man was willing to pay me. He would pay good. Rose wants to hire me. Wow, such an unorthodox interview in a way. I involuntarily chuckled and Rose scowled. She removed her hand slowly but grabbed on to my wrist.

"I get it, seriously, though? Is this safe?" I whispered. Rose surveyed the waiting man and nodded. "Sex, right?" Another nod. "How long?"

"As long as you guys can go, it's both of your decision. You'll have to discuss it with him."

"I have a kid, she's ten. She's waiting for me…"

"Don't worry about it, tell him an hour, if he says no, he says no. These guys are everywhere. It will be okay. And as for your kid, how old are _you_?"

"Twenty-six. Too old for this?"

"Nah, Irina just retired at thirty-five, you'll be fine. I'll give you her old area and call you when you get a special order, deal?" Rose held out her hand.

"How will you get a hold of me? I don't have a home…" I felt embarrassed for the first time about my situation.

"Come stay with me. I have a feeling you and your kid aren't too much of a problem. So do we have a deal, Mr. Lawyer is getting antsy over there," Rose shook her hand slightly. I took hold and sold my sold to the blonde devil.

**EPOV**

Shit. I hate the dark. What the fuck is wrong with people in Seattle? Always in the fucking dark! God damn, I hate Jasper. How dare he ditch me to bang my sister? Yeah, I know what 'dinner and a movie' means. Sicko. Whatever.

But seriously. I hate Seattle.

I understand why we had to build here, it was financially perfect, but, I will always hate it. It actually scares the stuffing out of me. Robbers around every corner and darkness everywhere. And the people just look like serial killers. But whatever. I'm a big boy now. I can handle the dark. I bring a flashlight.

The one good thing about Alice walking in on me tending to my needs was now she was hardly around. I scared her off. Finally! Jasper was a little peeved with me and Emmett thought I was incestual but at least I can live my life in peace. With no one around. Which leads me to my next issue besides the city. No girl. I thought I was charming. Hell, I know I am charming. But, I have injured the ego of many women in Forks and have been forced to expand my reach globally. Which is also half the reason I am in Seattle. The other half is to check up on the Whitlock Hotel. It's a swanky place that Jazz built and Alice designed. Even my mother, Esme, got into it. I, personally, just watched the bills pile in and hid the horror from my family. They were costing me a fortune. Thankfully the proverb of spending money to make money came into use and I earned all my money back. And much, much more.

A bad thing about girl hunting is I actually want a girl with a brain. And it turns out I have surrounded myself with idiots. So where am I now? Oh, yeah, the public freaking library. The bookstore was closed for the night and the library seemed to be pretty well lit. Had to save my flashlight's battery for the walk home.

The building wasn't imposing in the slightest. It was a squat tan building with reflective windows. Since all the lights were on I could see clearly in side. There were some people milling about and none of them appeared to be murderers so I decided it was worth stopping in. The air conditioning greeted me cheerfully removing the unnatural muggy heat of Seattle's night. I looked around and took a quick sniff. Books smell great. I don't know how people deny it. They smell awesome. If there was perfume that smelled like books I would give it to every girl I know, even Alice, just so I can smell books all day. Whatever, I don't care if I'm weird. At least I'm rich. I nodded to the librarian with an amiable face and disappeared down the aisles.

Horror.

Kids.

Romance.

Humor.

Ah, here we are. Classics.

I run my hand down the spines of the ancient books and take a deep breath. I love used books. I should open a library…

I continue my walk down the aisle until…I trip. I Edward Cullen tripped. Over what? A freakin' kid!

_Oomph!_ I landed with a thud. I looked around confused and came face to face with a surprised looking girl.

"Oh my, sir! I'm so sorry! My mom always tells me to not sit in the aisles…but it was so late and no one ever comes down here…I thought it would be okay…are you okay? Are you hurt?" The tiny child rambles at a irritating speed. I grunt and take a seat next to her.

"S'okay , kid. Where's your mom anyway?" I wasn't mad at the kid. I was mad at the lack of parenting. Carlisle would have dragged me out by my toenails if I tripped someone like that. Besides how could you get mad at a kid like this? Big brown eyes, baggy camo clothes, and a beanie. C'mon? It's like the cutest thing ever when a girl goes all tomboy. Wow…I need a shot. I'm becoming too soft. "Never mind, none of my business…" I mumbled and tried to stand up. Ow. Never mind. I looked at the girl and she looked legitimately scared. "Um, you okay?"

"My mom isn't here yet. I've been waiting all day…" tears welled up in her eyes. "She said she wouldn't leave me but she tried once. She could try again. I don't want to be an orphan…" My heart seized for the girl and I stood up ignoring the pain. I held out my hand and the little girl eyed it with rightful suspicion.

"My name is Edward Cullen, and yours is?"

"Bree Swan…" she took my hand and shook. I lifted her off the ground and beside me.

I had no control over what I was doing. It was like an out of body experience. I didn't want to do this. I shouldn't be doing thing. But I did. And I was. I led Bree out of the aisle and up to the front desk. The librarian looked at my skeptically.

"My name is Edward Cullen; my sister told me to come pick up my niece here but won't answer her cell phone. I need you to tell her to call me at this number so I can give her back in time for school tomorrow, can you do that….." I searched for the nameplate… "Roberta?"

Roberta cleared her throat and handed me a piece of paper, I quickly scrawled my name and number on it and returned it. "What does your sister look like?" I blanched. Shit.

Bree took over with a liar's ease. "She is five foot four and has wavy brown hair with light brown highlights. She will be looking down all the aisles but will start with the 'Classics' section. Her name is Bella Swan. Tell her I'm okay, please?" Roberta smiled fondly and agreed.

When we got outside and Bree was in the backseat firmly strapped in I smiled in the rearview mirror. "Wanna burger?" Bree smiled happily and I tore out of the parking lot. Totally feeling like a kidnapper.

**BPOV**

I slid on my panties and hurried out of the hotel room but not without my three hundred and fifty bucks. If I did this seven hours a week….Bree and I could live in a hotel. A cheap one. But a hotel nonetheless. It would be better than an alleyway.

I checked the clock in the lobby…8:45! Shit shit shit shit! Bree! I told her nine! That's when the library closes!

I start running.

I don't stop running.

I run all the way to the library.

I run to the 'Classics' section.

No Bree. I look around frantically.

I begin to tear up when a frail librarian hands me a piece of paper and walks away.

I open it up and wipe my eyes.

_Edward Cullen: Reach me at 989.345.2233 I have your kid. She wanted a burger. Don't worry. I swear._

I close my eyes and begin to pray. I either just lost my kid to a murderer or I was just saved by an angel named Edward Cullen.

No matter what though, I needed to get to a phone.

**A/N: Hey, thanks for the love last chapter! TWO whole reviews and a couple favorite stories! Sounds pretty suhweeeet! Okay, I somehow turned myself on writing the end of last chapter and had to take a break. Hopefully some sexy time next chapter. Let me know what you think of Edward going all kidnapper and Bella going all….Oh, Pretty Woman on us :)**

**Lots of loves!**


	3. Hitler and Promises

**Disclaimer- Twilight is not mine but this brownie sure is :)**

**Chapter 3: Hitler and Promises**

EPOV

Shit. Shit. Shit. What the hell am I doing? I just kidnapped a fucking six year old GIRL. I'm so going to jail. Then Hell. Great. I'll get to play poker with Hitler and Ben Stiller...wait, I'm sorry that's an insult to Hitler. He deserves better than that. But, anyways, I'm still going to Hell. I don't know what came over me. But it's not like I can just drop her off on the street now. Could I...? No, Edward, no. She's like six!

God, her mom already pisses me off. How the fuck do you leave your kid alone in Seattle? I mean seriously I've pissed my parents off but not bad enough for them to just ditch me. I'm a little fucktard sometimes but my parents love me like they should. What could have this kid have done that's so bad? She's a cute kid, which I'm entirely against saying aloud, but, I can't fathom she did anything.

But, I'm still gonna rot in fucking Hell. All for being "nice." Great..."Edward?" the girl asked from the back seat, she sounded breathless, and "Where are we going?"

I ignored her question and pulled in to the hotels parking lot. Swanky, I approved. But over the top and expensive...my wallet sobbed silently for the loss. About 22 floors high, each with balconies, the white hotel towered over the business area of Seattle. Jasper did good. Everyone did good. Draining my wallet...

I pulled up to the valet booth and rolled down my window. An over eager boy jumped to help me. "Good evening, Mr. Cullen, how can I assist you?" his nasally voice greeted me. I nodded and handed him a twenty.

"Have Mr. Whitlock, Mr. McCarthy, and Miss Cullen arrived yet?" my terse response took the boy aback but he quickly recovered. He nodded and gulped loudly, his Adams apple bobbing. "Thank you, could you please park in the G Parking Lot. Last time the young man I entrusted with my car dented the bumper; can you try to do better this time?" He nodded again, fear thick in his eyes and sweat pouring to his eyebrows. My message obviously had gotten through to him. "Come along, Bree," I unlocked my door and stepped outside. I reached over to unlock Bree's door and handed the keys to the valet boy. Bree took my hand and I shrugged her off. I'm already going to Hell but I still don't want to be seen as a major Pedo.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing? Her mom is probably worried as fuck for her and you freaking stole her! Do you realize how much trouble you are gonna be in? Jail!" Alice threw her arms up in the air exasperated. As soon as we got to my suite I ordered Bree a burger and sent her to watch television in the living room. When I was sure she was settled I called up the gang. Of course, they were not as understanding as I had thought. Because in a perfect world they would have comforted me and praised me for being so selfless. Putting my life in danger for some stray kid.

"Edward...," Emmett said slowly. I looked over at him and he broke out into a huge ass grin, "You're gonna be someone's BITCH!"

"Don't drop the soap, Eddie boy!" Jasper blurted out and leaned on to Emmett for support. I grumbled my vulgarities and received a swift smack in the back of the head from my oh so loving sister.

"What the Hell was that for, sis?" I clenched my teeth and snarled.

"For being such an idiot and calling Jasper a 'lousy cock sucking monkey with a lazy eye'...duh," Alice explained and opened the bedroom door to look into the living room. Bree was trying her hardest to stay away by blinking rapidly and eating as slow as possible. I internally saluted the kid. She's a real trooper. I kidnapped her and gave her a crappy hotel burger, if I'd been her I would have gone ape shit and forced the creep to let me go. Not that I'm gonna hurt her or anything. I'm just saying, she's really something.

"Please...stop with the gay comments," I pinched the bridge of my nose, "That how I got into this mess in the first place. Goddamn you, Emmett! If it wasn't for you I'd be home right now working on the blueprints and managing the finances of the biggest client I'd ever had. But no, now I'm stuck worrying about getting jailed and corked by same guy named Martha!"

"Edward?" a tiny voice asked, I turned to see a wide eyed Bree holding the phone out to me. "It's the front desk, you have a call." Her eyes were red rimmed and bagged. She looked like death. My heart leaped and I smiled slightly. I took the phone and patted her head fondly. She smiled slightly and went back to the living room. I sighed and held the phone to my ear.

"Edward Cullen speaking."

"Sorry to disturb you, sir. But we have a Miss Isabella Swan here and she refuses to leave until you meet with her."

Fun... Hello, Martha.

Bree practically bounced when I told her that her mother was here for her. Despite her fearless attitude she was scared. She had some reason to think her mom would leave her. I felt fir the kid. But I wanted her gone. ASAP.

The ride in the elevator was awkward. Bree held on to my hand and I didn't have the heart to pull away this time. She needed the tie to earth. If it was stressful to me it must have been unbearably fucked up to her.

The man behind the counter was spiny and twitchy. Sometimes I wish I controlled who we hired. That way the creepy people would be far away from me. But I didn't care enough to press the thought. The man pointed to a dark haired woman curled up in an armchair by the fire. I nudged Bree and she let go of my hand. She bounded over to her mom and jumped in her lap. The woman squeezed her daughter and laughed triumphantly. I looked away; the tender moment wasn't mine to share. I turned away and started to head up to my hotel room. At least the cops weren't here.

"Hey! Stop! You there!" a lady called and I spun around. Bree's mom had jumped up from the chair and had run to the middle of the lobby. Her hair was sexed up and her makeup smeared from the dried tears she had undoubtedly shed over her missing daughter. I'm glad she had suffered. If she left her daughter for sex she definitely deserved it. "Sir, thank you so much for... Saving my daughter. I am so thankful." A deep blush spread across her face. Bree smiled up at me I tugged on her mom's hand. "Is there any way I can make it up to you?"

Why does the kid have to be here? I'm not gonna like this woman's a MILF. Serious to God. I'd like to do so many things to this woman right now but... The kid. Is right there. Staring at me. Such a cock block.

"It's late. Come stay the night. I have an extra room. I won't take no for an answer," I hold out my hand, "Bree?"

BPOV

I should've told Rose that I wouldn't be by tonight but I didn't know what to say. We just met. She's technically my boss and roommate now. Not really the relationship that requires knowledge. So...here I am. In another hotel room. With a guy to die for.

I'm not gonna lie after I got over the shock that Bree was perfectly fine, I looked up and felt my panties dampen. This guy and panty dropping skills with a single glance. Dark red hair and shockingly bright green eyes. On anyone else he might have looked like a clown. But on Mr. Cullen... It was a deadly combination. We followed him back to his room, Bree never dropped his hand until he showed us our room. He left the room, shut the door, without another glance or word.

"Are you okay, baby?" I cooed to Bree from across the room. We'd curled up in our separate beds and were ready for what was sure to be the best sleep we had in a while.

"Yeah, Bella. He's really nice. He gave me a burger and free reign of the remote. Where were you? You promised..." her voice broke on the last word.

"I got a job, Bree. It's a night job though. But it came with a place to stay for the night so you won't have to wait in the library again. I'm so sorry. It won't ever happen again. I promise." I watched Bree's small frame shift away from me.

"That's what you said last time. Prove you mean it. Good night, Bella." the edge to her voice crushed me. I couldn't even be mad at her. I deserved it.

"Good night, Bree..." I got out of bed and left the room. I needed some air.

I noticed the balconies when I was getting out of the taxi. All the rooms had them. I saw the dim outdoor light illuminating from my room and headed out into the cool night air. Seattle was a beautiful city at night. The darkness made you feel infinite. Nothing could hurt you. Nothing existed. Just you.

"Isabella?" a velvet voice called to me. I smiled and closed my eyes. My fantasies were calling me now. "Bella?" the voice called this time more direct. I opened my eyes and was face to face with Mr. Cullen.

"Yes, sir?" my voice shook unsure.

"I was wondering if I could take you up on your offer now? To make it up to me?" his soft voice plead for me. Calling me. I'd need to buy new panties. ASAP.

"Yes," I whispered back and took a step closer to him.

"Good. I would to hate to know you are such a tease, Isabella," Mr. Cullen stepped forward closing the gap in between us. I could feel his breath on my forehead, my head swam with intoxication. No man should be able to do this without even touching a woman. It was so…animalistic.

"Please, call me Bella."

"Bella…" Mr. Cullen tested out the name and smiled. "Call me, Edward."

I would call him Jesus if he would just kiss me already. The tension on the tiny balcony is so unbearable. The only reason he is still dressed is the fact that my daughter is less than 20 feet away from us. But, if he made the first move, how could I resist? I am only human, after all.

Edward leaned in to me, millimeters away from his target, my knees grew weak and I slumped into him. Our lips made contact and ice shot through my blood stream. Not electricity. Hot ice. The feeling set my senses on fire as I reached my arms around his neck to pull him harder to me. I needed him. The reason didn't matter. Nothing mattered now.

"Edward?"

I snapped back to reality and jumped away from Edward. He groaned and ran his hands through his hair. Not fair, my inner temptress chanted, I wanted to do that. I wanted to do _everything_ for him. Everything to him. Who dare interrupt my destination?

"What that hell, Alice? Don't you knock, ever?" Edward snarled and glared at me.

My heart sank and I slipped by this Alice and went back to Bree. I should have known it wouldn't have worked out. Nothing ever did.

Except that 2+2=4. Hit a guy in his "2's" and you will knock him down to 4.

**A/N: *sobs in my corner* I hate feeling all lonely. Reviews are sweeter than a Cullen drizzled with chocolate. I want one. Do you?**


	4. Burning Crotches and Waterfalls

**Disclaimer: Twilight is not mine but, Edward sure was in my dream last night ;)**

**Chapter 4: Burning Crotches and Waterfalls**

EPOV

"Irina, if you stick your hand back up to your face one more time I will pull over this car and be forced to leave you on the side of the road. Do you understand me?" I growled at the leggy blonde next to me. She scowled and tore her filthy talons away from her gargantuan mouth. On a normal occasion I wouldn't have minded the size of her mouth. Usually I would be wondering how bad her gag reflex was and if she was into swallowing. But not tonight. Definitely not tonight. Not after the spectacle she had created. The crazy bitch.

Tonight was supposed to go different. A hell of a lot different. Alice told me to take Irina Denali out to dinner so the Client would see us out. How was that supposed to happen? Alice arranged Diego, some sleazy paparazzi guy, to follow us and take pictures. But did it happen like that? Oh, of course it did. Did it help me? No. Did it fuck me further? Hell yes.

I'd arrived at the Denali Manor at a quarter to nine to greet who was supposed to be my one way ticket out of Shittsville. Irina isn't a cow. She isn't a horse. She's more of a lioness. Hungry golden brown eyes dark compared to her porcelain skin tone. A modern day beauty. She moved with such grace it was almost inhuman. If Diego hadn't been following us I would have probably taken her right then and there for all of Seattle to see. But, he was. So, we didn't.

Reflecting on what I knew now as I sped down the highway, desperate to put a large distance between us and the Incident, I would have preferred to hop in my car and search for Isabella. At least the evening would have been somewhat good.

Alice was such a major fucking cock block created in some special facility with one goal in mind: to give me blue balls for weeks.

Once Isabella scurried to her room with Bree I knew I was screwed. I couldn't go run after her for two very important reasons. One, Alice was still literally cock blocking me with her body and her seething look. Two, even if I managed to get past Alice I couldn't run into Isabella's room because there was a small child in there and surely Eddie Junior would have traumatized her for life.

Let's just say, that night really sucked. Isabella had caused such a stir in my pants that I practically humped my bed for pleasure. And not even a temper pedic mattress could soothe what that girl did. It was like being a horny little teenager again. If the wind blew the wrong way up sprang Eddie Junior. But no, now just thinking about this chick brought back all the pleasurable unpleasant times of being a girl virgin and a hand master. One taste of her and I was addicted. It is sickening.

"Eddie? Where are we going?" Irina slid closer to me and put her hand on my leg. Eddie Junior screamed bloody murder and begged me to push her out of the car. I declined his request. And women say we only think with our dicks. Irina's hand slid closer to E.J. and I felt him squirm. Like a turtle going in for protection, Irina was the deadly hawk out for the kill. The glint in her desiring eyes told me all I needed to know. I'm so not fucking this freak. She'd probably bite him off and offer me the pieces.

After what happened at the restaurant anything is possible.

"We are going nowhere, you are going home. And I am going home to put ice on my dick. In case you hadn't noticed fire is not good for any part of the body. Oh, and knives…no. Just fucking no, Irina," I sped up and roughly pushed Irina away from me. Such a whore. Looks are so deceiving. Alice and I are definitely having a talk about the women she sets me up with. I might as well pretend to be gay and milk that until the river dries up. At least then Eddie Junior will be safe and his pride will only be slightly injured. Hey, you never know, he could swell with pride from being wanted by everyone. Yeah, that could work. Too bad I prefer vag to bags.

"But, Edward…you promised we would try that…position," Irina dropped her eyes back down toward my junk. God, she's gonna kill me before I get home.

"That was well before you thought it would be funny to miss the candle and drop the match on to my crotch," I gripped the steering wheel in memory. Fuck that shit.

"It was an accident, Eddie! I tried to put the fire out!"

"With a knife!" I couldn't take it anymore. I swung to the curb and slammed on the breaks. Without a word I unlocked the car and waited.

I slid the wet towel over my face and took deep breaths. Be still my aching dick, you are safe now. No crazy Irina in sight. No crazy woman in sight. All is right in the world…

"Edward! You cannot just leave women on the street corner at midnight!" Alice screamed as she entered my room. I spoke too soon. There is a very crazy woman in sight. Alice snatched my towel off my face and I groaned in response. "What were you thinking?" She pummeled me with her tiny fists until I sat up from the couch and held her hands in mine. The only protection from the tiny woman.

"She set my dick on fire, Alice, and then tried to put it out with knife. She almost put him out for life. Is that what you want? Me to be sterile? Forever shooting blanks into the washed and horny women of the world? I'm sorry but I don't want my little troopers without a mission in life. It would be a cruel, cruel existence. I unlike you, care about having a cruel existence," I snatched my towel back and resumed my once relaxing place on the couch.

"I love how you refer to your dick as a 'him' it's so thirteen. You don't hear me calling my cave of wonders Valerie still, do you?" Alice sat on my chest and pulled the towel off my face. Bitch. "But beside the point, what happened to Diego? I thought you paid him to take pictures of you and Irina?"

"I did…but he found it so much more humorous to take pictures of our very violent sexcapdes. Instead of presenting myself to the world as the very straight man I am, I will now be known as the man with a flaming dick. How…punny." I leaned up and shoved Alice off of me and on to the floor. "Get off, Tinkerbelle; you and Valerie aren't welcome without an invitation. And don't hold your breath, I'm not into incest. It's so….smurfy," I snatched my towel and went to re-soak it. All I wanted to do was come home and relax. To put the terrifying evening behind me. But does that happen? Does it ever happen? Hell no. Alice is too much a busy body. Acts like she knows everything. Even before it happens. We should have stuck her in the asylum like I wanted for my seventh birthday.

"God, shut the fuck up, Edward. Sorry, you didn't get the world class fucking you were expecting but seriously, just grow up. You left a poor girl on the street corner like some whore! In the middle of Seattle! Do you know how fucking lucky you are that she got home alright and isn't suing your ass?" Alice screeched and stole my towel. Damn her to Hell! I want my fucking towel already.

"Alice…" I smiled wickedly, "I used that towel to clean up last night, if you know what I mean," I waggled my eyebrows and watched her eyes grow in fear. She tossed the towel back at me and fled the room. Finally peace and quiet.

BPOV

I picked up my cell phone, *restricted*, must be a job. Great. Another guy ready fuck my brains out. I swear it must be like throwin' a hotdog down a hallway down there now. My mom always said it was better to have a hotdog in a bun then in the sewer. That analogy never made more sense than it did now. I would have never guessed there were so many openly horny men in the world. Sheesh, I thought everyone just took it in their own hands or waited for their other. Turns out I was so fucking wrong. Fucking being the key word. Always. Ever since I made it back to Rose that night I've been on call, double shift.

And, yes, I mean double.

I answered the phone and took a deep breath, "Hello?"

There was a lot of shuffling and then a laugh, "Bella! We are going to have you working from 10 to 12 on the corner of 4th and 8th. Tell Bree there are some microwave pizzas in the freezer and to just keep the volume on the television down to a reasonable volume tonight, neighbors complaining equal sneaking land lords. Not something I need to deal with. Okay, you have the details, just wear your blue dress and black shoes. You should be fine tonight, okay? Okay. Bye," Rose ranted and hung up without needing to hear my voice in response. She knew I was listening.

The thing about Rose was simple: she didn't give crap. You screw her over, she'll screw you harder. You lie, you're gone. You steal, you'll lose an arm. Rose doesn't need friends. She has her work and her employees to keep her company. Which I don't doubt at all seeing as she showed me her list of girls on call and there were twenty of us.

But the thing I loved most already about Rose was: Bree loved her and it was noticeably vice versa. Whenever Rose was around Bree would follow her around and try to help her with anything. At first I thought it was because Bree was bored but after a few weeks you could see the bond between them. If I hadn't been so busy screwing random guys for money I would have been jealous.

"Bree?" I called through the apartment and watched Bree pop up from the couch and smile. "I have to work tonight. There is pizza in the freezer. Rose wants you to be quiet today. Just keep the television down and you should be set," I smile at her and grabs my keys. She's a good kid. Probably not old enough to be at home alone but it's not like I have any other choice.

"Bye, Bella!" Bree chirps and lies back down on the couch. She really enjoys not having to sleep in someone's door way.

I know no dip Sherlock.

"Hey, baby," a man came up behind me and placed his arm around my waist. I wiggled to face him. He had sandy blonde hair and light green eyes. "How much?" I hate how direct they always are. Never 'how are you?' or even 'can I buy sex from you?' All they every do is assume. I would honestly be pissed if this wasn't my job. C'mon dicks have some decency. It isn't that hard to be a little more friendly. But, y'know, that's really get's my panties in a twist, assholes. Sure…right. Whatever.

But, I need the money, so do I form any of these thoughts aloud? Nope. Can't. That would mean losing a sale and that was something I could not afford to do. "How long?" I mumble into his ear as a wrap my arms around his neck. He smiles and mouths 'two.' Two hours, he seems…alright. "Four fifty. Collaborative." He nods and pulls me closer. My breath hitches and grabs my ass. Yes, because that was totally an invitation to grapple on to me. Ignorant pig. Well, at least I'd get paid pretty well tonight.

He spun me off him and dragged me to the closest motel. Damn, I came here last week. They have pretty shitty mattresses. I had to stay in bed for two days to get my back to stop hurting. Why can't we ever go to somewhere nice? Big rich business men like this one could afford it but they don't want to be seen with me. Which makes sense, I sometimes don't want to be seen with me but c'mon you have to know the mattress quality sucks ass.

I waited by the elevator for the man to get a room. I caught a glance of myself in a mirror. My lips were swollen from the beating they have been taking from the multitude of men. I used to think swollen lips were sexy. Now I know they just hurt like a mother fucker. Haha, all the men are mother fuckers. Not joke. That makes it so much better. I suppress a laugh as my new man comes up to me and nods. I smile and follow him into the elevator. This is such a silent job. I hate elevators. It just increases the weight of the awkward situation. I don't do elevator sex so I stay as far away from the guy as possible to make sure he gets the hint. He pays for bed sex, shower sex, floor sex, and anything besides elevator sex. That's just cheap.

The room is just like the other one. Dingy yellow wallpaper with swirls of green dappled across the wall. Once upon a time the hotel must have been somewhat elegant. But now, it was a whore house.

"Sit." The man demanded. His eyes no longer bright and friendly. Shit. He was a dominant. Fucking shit fuck. I sat on the edge of the bed. He stood in front of my and pushed my hair behind my ears. I couldn't breathe. The blood pounding through my body made it impossible almost made it impossible to hear, let alone think. "You are quite beautiful; too bad you are just a whore." Ouch. Really, no need to go that far. "What's your name?" Finally, a reasonable question.

"Vanessa, sir," I added the sir part in case he was truly a dominant. I had no intention of being smacked around tonight. If he was…I had no idea how violent he could be.

"Good girl, Vanessa. Now take of your dress. We are going to do this fast, rough, and most definitely hard. Go on. Do it," the man proceeded to take off his own pants without ever taking his eyes of me. I held in a sigh and slowly pulled the dress off over my head. His breath quickened, good, at least I had some sort of control.

He strode toward me and pushed me on to the bed. I didn't move. My legs were still hanging off the edge of the bed. He didn't like that; he shoved me further unto the bed and spread my legs open. I could feel my vag trying to shrivel up and disappear in fear. Fuck this; I'm closing my eyes from now on. He's too creepy.

Mmmmm, Mr. Cullen. Yeah, I can picture him. My imagination probably won't do him justice but it will be good enough to at least not have this guy's dick go in dry and end up ripping a wall to shreds.

His copper hair, misguided and naturally sexy. The violently green eyes that pool into your soul. Trying to scare you away. Everything about him seems dangerous. But also vulnerable. Edward Cullen: ultimate waterfall experience.

Edward leaned over my body roughly grabbing me by the chin and forcing my head to the side. His full weight on my body draws my attention to the significant bulge now pressing into my stomach. I shift up further to place him in between my legs. Edward begins to trail his lips softly down to my navel. A shiver wracks through my body and I wrap my legs around Edward's waist. I tug on his hair and push him further down. So close…so very, very close. C'mon, baby, you can do it. Edward tugs on my panties clumsily but manages to get them off. He groans and plunges his face down, tasting all I've made for him. The waterfall still going strong as he begins to make detailed patterns with his tongue. I can't take it anymore. I. Need. Him. Now. I moan and arch my back.

"Oh, Vanessa, come for me baby," Edward groans. My eyes fly open at the wrong name and I realize that was a horrible mistake. Hello, guy who is most definitely not Edward.

The man plunges into me once and releases. Pussy. So much for hard and rough.

I slip on my dress and grab the money off the counter. The man, who I've recently learned is named Caius, has fallen asleep and I've decided that I will not stick around for him to wake up. Stupid ass fucktard doesn't know how to hold is load for shit. I don't need that again.

God, I hope I never see him or Edward Cullen again. I may jump in front of a car to escape Caius and jump and hump Edward. Either way it won't have a pretty ending.

I swear to God, I am going to have the female equivalent blue balls for the rest of my life. That man had lips of marble and lean fingers that just bloody screamed 'clitterific!'

Yeah, I'm so fucked. But at least I have inspiration to get me through all the unnatural male partners I will find myself with.

"Isabella?" I turn at the hauntingly familiar voice.

Hello, waterfall!

**A/N: Yeah, I had to throw in a bit of Bella's work. Hope she isn't too much of a hopeless loser. Trying to let her have character and all that jazz is harder than it seems. Especially since I'm such an Edward fan now. But here's the deal, I've updated all 4 chapters in 3 days. I love the support I'm getting and I see that people are reading. So I'm going to challenge you all…who made it this far down the author's note…**

**10 reviews. Then you get an update. And a Niagara Falls style waterfall ;) C'mon you know you want one. Just as bad as I want Edward Cullen to move in next door to me and shower naked. In the front yard. Okay, so that's the deal. 10 reviews.**

**Can't wait to update! **


	5. Molesting and Kidnapping

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight but I do own this watered down Diet Coke.**

**A/N: Yeah, I'm a bitch. Sorry for the lack of updates even though I got so many pretty little reviews! Thanks! I had to think this chapter out a bit so tell me what you think!**

**Chapter Five: Molesting and Kidnapping**

**EPOV**

I shook my head slightly and strode up to the young woman. Her eyes were tentative, scared, how cute. I hadn't seen a female look at me like that since I was in primary. Once girls realized I didn't find that sort of 'hard to get' or 'terribly shy' act worthy of my attention they started to show their true colors. Sadly, most girls' true colors are equally horrible. But it helps me cut out the bad easily and go for the good. Not saying that my procedure is flawless. Sure there has been some minor fuck up bouncing around but for the most part the procedure works.

Miss Isabella was excruciating. She must know this. No woman scurries around after dark in clothes like that with little self esteem. Isabella knows who she is. I wonder if she knows what she wants. Or in particular who she wants. I hold out my hand and she looks down at it, unsure. Geez, maybe she is not all I thought. I'm about to pull it back when she grasps it firmly. Her hands are smooth…I wonder where else she's smooth….

"Edward." Her voice is rough. Not friendly like it had once been at our last meeting.

"How are you doing, Isabella? Bree?" She pulls her hand back and uses it to push her hair out of her eyes. "It is rather late to be about, don't you think?"

"It is. But I am just getting to Bree now. How are you?" she counters her eyes are sharp now. What have I done to evoke such anger?

"Fine."

"Good."

"Yes." Damn this is turning out like a text message conversation. "Well I must be off, it is late. Tell Bree I said 'hello?'"

"Will do, Edward. Tell Alice she's a fucking cock block, 'kay?" Isabella laughs and turns away. My jaw drops slightly and I grab her elbow softly. "Yes, Edward?" She looks up at me behind her thick eyelashes. I shift a bit from leg to leg and smile back. "Did you need anything?" she basically goddamn purrs to me. Like a fucking minx!

I pull her face to mine and roughly kiss her, savoring the salty sweet taste on her lips. She moans my name and I take the moment to attack her neck. Isabella runs her hands through my hair tugging slightly. I try to place my hands on the small of her back but she turns away. My mouth opens to protest but before I can make out a syllable she's halfway down the block…running from me. Fleeing me.

What a blow to the ego.

8-(

"I don't know what happened, Alice. If I did I wouldn't be in this _fucking_ situation. She rejected me. Flat out rejection. What type of girl does that? Makes out on the street with some guy and then just…walks away like nothing happened…" I slam my fist down on the table and catch the teetering water bottle before it topples to the ground. I hear Alice take a deep breath through the phone.

"Things will work out, Edward, they always do for you. And besides don't you have more important things to worry about? Like what the tabloids are saying about you?" pointedly Alice directed me to the matter at hand. Isabella is nothing compared to the shit storm the damn paparazzi was creating before my very eyes. "Have you even come up with a plan to stop it? Seriously, Eddie, get your head in the game or they'll rip you to shreds. You know how they work. How this works. The longer you don't do anything the longer they think you are taking this as an agreement. Do you want that?" I don't respond at first so Alice continues, "It will be hard getting laid if every girl thinks you're wanting a sausage buffet."

"Fine, I'll think of a plan tonight." I growl and hang up. Alice has a point. I like getting laid. I like it a lot.

8'-(

**Bree's POV**

I rolled over on the couch to get a good look at Rosalie. She smiled at me and ruffled my hair as she passed by. I smiled and looked at the television. "It's a wig…how can you be so stupid? She looks like the same girl. Thanks Disney. Make me feel even more stupid," I mutter to the television before I turn it off.

"You say somethin', sweetie?" Rosalie asks me. I shake my head and sit up. "Where's your mom, kid?" I shrug and follow behind her.

To put it simply Rosalie is gorgeous. I knew Bella was pretty but Rosalie is movie star fabulous. To make matters better, she is usually home when I'm awake. Not that Bella isn't home but…wait that's the truth she is never home. I don't know what she's doing but all I know is Rosalie is nice. And being nice works for me. "Can I go to the library today?"

Rose looks at me and smiles, "Sure, I will drop you off on the way to meet the girls, is that okay? I don't want you wandering the streets alone, it isn't safe. I don't know how your mom ever let you do that. If I had a kid…" Her eyes got misty like they always did when she started ranting about Bella's poor parenting. I took her hand and squeezed. She smiled and nodded. Looks like I got a ride to the library. Sweet.

8-)

As Rose drove, really dangerously, down the street I saw a bunch of kids down at the school playground. Lucky ducks. Bella won't sign me up. Good thing for me I'm not that stupid and learned to read and teach myself most things. I don't like to talk about it though. I actually don't like to talk that much at all. I know I'm supposed to be in school. I know that if someone found out I could get into a lot of trouble. I know that Bella would get in trouble too. It's just easier to not say anything. That way I can never slip up. Silence is golden and all that jazz.

"So what time am I picking you up?" Rose asked me as she pulled in front of the stone building. I shrugged. "Closing?" I nodded and smiled at her.

**EPOV**

I grabbed the phone and flipped it open, "Talk," I demanded.

"Dude, shut the fuck up with the anger shit. Now listen. You wanted the plan now here it is…."

8-|

I smiled to the frail woman behind the counter and she took a quick breath before waving me in. I headed to the young blonde looking over the Romance DVD's. She smelled like vanilla. I intentionally stuck my hand out in front of her face as I reached for the movie _The Notebook_. She stepped back into me and laughed nervously. "Sorry," I muttered and dropped the DVD back on the rack. "Are you alright, ma'am?" I placed one hand on each arm and spun her to face me. She had light green eyes and a pixie like face. Like a blonde Alice. Ewwww! Major turn off.

"I'm Maddie and you are?" she smiled slightly. I grimaced internally and smiled back.

"Edward, Edward Cullen. I am so sorry for my impolite behavior." I smile again and turn on my heel practically running from Maddie. Yeah, I'm rude but I need a girl who won't remind me of my devious and crazy sister.

"Edward?" A small voice asks. I turn to see Bree behind a dictionary sized book. I smile at her and take a seat across from her.

"How are you?" I ask politely and she just nods. "How's Isabella?" I try again.

"She likes to be called Bella," Bree notes and flips the page in her book. "What are you doing here?" I smile and look around, Maddie has found me and is strutting what little stuff she has on over. Great.

"Bree, would you mind doing me a huge favor?" Another nod. God, we have to work on her communication skills. "Okay, just follow my lead, alright?" Nod. Seriously…?

"Hey, Edward! There you are! Hey…" Maddie looks down at Bree and smiles, "who's this, Edward?" I smile grandly and take Bree's hand. Bree looks shocked but quickly composes herself.

"This is my daughter, Bree. Bree, where's Mom?" I ask curiously. Bree smiles for the first time and looks at me happily.

"Mom went to pick up dinner for us, did you get that movie she wanted?" Perfect!

I look up at Maddie and shrug nonchalantly, "_The Notebook,___a woman's favorite. Gotta please my love, right?" Maddie nods and says her good-byes. When she is out of view I raise my hand for a high five. Bree acknowledges it and delivers accurately.

"So when did you lose that tooth, Bree?" She blushes and shrugs. "I think it makes you look even prettier. When you smile the whole world gets a little bit brighter, did you know that?" Bree shakes her head. "Well, it does, you should smile more often." Bree smiles and closes her book.

"Okay, Edward. Thank you," Bree continues to smile and gets up from her chair. I follow her lead. I turn down the Classics section, expecting that's where she will be but I see her continuing her way out of the library. I run to catch up with her. "What?" her voice is strained and clippsed.

"Where are you going?"

"Home."

"You're walking?" When will Bella learn! You cannot leave a small child alone in the city at night! Bree just nods and continues to the main road. I grab her hand and pull her to my side. "I'll give you a ride, just give me the directions."

8-\

Man, I'm pussy whipped by an eight year old. It's official. I left my hunt to save my name for a child. Yeah, I'm whipped. Bree doesn't talk much. Neither do I. So at least our silence is comfortable. If either of us does speak up we listen and enjoy the conversation until it is over. Rather than beating the conversation until it is pointless like most people try.

Bree gives directions and fiddles with the radio. I hate Disney music. Singing chipmunks and fake ass rock stars. Nightmares for weeks now following this ride.

I turn on to another street and slam on the breaks at the sight before me. Bella. Bree's mom. A mom. On the corner of the street. Being attacked by some burly man. With his tongue. I hit the gas and spin into a parking spot. I demanded a now crying Bree to stay put. Without turning off the motor I leap out of the car and on to the back of the man. It surprisingly takes little effort because the man starts running screaming about the cops. Bella looks dazed. I shake her gently until her focus returns to me. "Edward?"

"Yes, Bella?" She smiles at me and leans into my chest.

"You got my name right…"

"Mommy? Daddy?" Bree calls and we both turn to look at her.

"Yes?" We say simultaneously. Bella swiftly turns her eyes back to me.

"Excuse me? Did you just answer to 'Daddy'?" Bella screams at me. "What are you? Some pedophile?" I clamp my hand over her mouth and she bites. I wrap my other arm around her waist and somehow manage to push her and Bree back into the car.

8-

**BPOV**

What the fucking Hell? Who does he think he is? What the Hell is Bree doing with him? Why did he scare off my only customer tonight?

What

The

Fuck

Is

Wrong

With

Him?

**A/N: Yeah, this chapter blew chunks all over my shoes. It will probably need to be rewritten. Thoughts please. Tell me what I need to fix. **

**Reviews get you a dream of your favorite Twilight man 8-)**


	6. Mommy and Daddy

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight but I do own some old guacamole in the fridge.

A/N: I hate the last chapter. So let's move on from that. Thanks for reading the last chapters =] 

Chapter Six: Mommy and Daddy

EPOV

I glanced back at Bree in the back seat she was leaning against the window with her eyes closed. I knew she wasn't asleep yet. Mere moments ago she had been shrieking about my driving skills. Or lack thereof.

She called me Daddy. I answered. As Daddy.

I had never seen Bree act so immature. She usually acted wise beyond her years. But for the first time since I had met her she acted her age. And it literally scared the shit out of me. What was Bella thinking? Leaving an eight year old to fend for herself in Seattle. And then hooking up with some guy on the street corner. I should have her arrested. But then what would happen to Bree? Hell knows I couldn't take care of her. But something needs to be done.

Wait.

When did I start caring about this kid? This insignificant kid?

I honestly can't remember not caring about her. Great. Just fucking great. I care about someone for once and she is under no claim of mine. I am legally and physically nothing to this girl. I'm just a ride. A taxi driver if you will. Nothing more.

I chance a look at Bella. She looks a lot like Bree. Eyes closed and head rested against the window. Also, I know she isn't sleeping. The one difference between Bree and Bella is that Bella is crying. I feel my heart swoop with some unfamiliar emotion. Must be gas. Bella's cheeks are flushed pink and her lips look like they have been rubbed raw. I have the urge to push a few stray strands of her hair behind her ear so her tears will slide more easily down her face. I repress the urge immediately. This woman abandoned her child.

I swerve into the parking lot of the hotel and sling the door open as a valet assistant rushes to my side. He mutters, but enthusiastically, "Good evening, Mister Cullen." I push my laptop bag into his arms and pass him a twenty. I jump out of the car and glance back at Bree. She's kept the facade of sleeping up well. She's rubbin her eyes and yawning as she pushes herself out of her seat and into the cool air of Seattle. I smile and instantly wish I could take it back. I have no bond to her. I should just be straight faced and business like. Yeah, business like.

I hold put my arms and Bree climbs in I carry her past Bella and into the hotel. I look back to see if she's following. She is, so I keep going.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Alice is already perched in my room when I slide the card key down. Bella slides in behind me and holds out her arms for her daughter. I shake my head and carry Bree to the guest bedroom and place her gently on the bed. Her eyes flutter open and she smiles.

"Thank you, Edward. I'm sorry I called you Daddy. I know you're not him..." her voice breaks slightly and tears float in her eyes. I sit on the bed beside her and push the hair out of her face.

"It's okay, Bree. You were just scared. No one is blaming you for anything. Just go to sleep and Bella will be here later," I whisper and pull a blanket over her shivering frame.

"Will you be here when I wake up?" Bree asks. I nod and she awards me a holey smile.

I leave her room and shut the door quietly behind me. Alice and Bella look up at me and I gesture for them to follow. I don't want to wake Bree. She deserves some sleep.

I always ask for the Presidential Suite whenever I stay anywhere. Jasper is kind enough to let me stay here for free. Banging my sister and being my business partner must have something to do with that. I like suites. They are like mini houses but still impersonal. I've never needed the whole suite before. Probably because it's always just been me and the occasional woman. Or Alice. Such a mooch she is sometimes.

"Sit." I order Bella when we step into the office. I sit behind the desk and Alice sits on the corner. Bella looks small and frightened. Good.

"Thank you for saving Bree on countless occasions. I don't know what we have done to deserve it. Heavens know I've done nothing worthy," Bella smiles at me. I don't have the emotion to return it. She's unfuckingbelievable.

"Shut the fuck up, Isabella. I could have you fucking thrown in jail for child neglect and probably emotional abuse. It's what you deserve to be honest. Bree doesn't deserve to be treated this way. How the fuck could you treat your own kid this way? Left to wander the streets of a big city at bight. It's fucking unacceptable." I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose.

"Please, don't do that. You're right. But please don't take her away from me. I swear I'll do better. Please..." Bella starts to sob in her hands. Her shoulder shake and she tries to continue speaking but her words are lost.

"Edward," Alice pokes me in the shoulder to get my attention. I look up and see her eyes twinkling. "Let me handle this?" I nod and stand up from my chair. I need some air. Alice takes my place and points to the door. I take that as my release and go to the hotel lobby.

I've never been a heavy drinker. I socially drink or I don't drink at all. Of course that was before Bella entered my life. I wave at the bartender an she moseys over lackadaisically.

"How can I help you tonight, sir?" the bartender asks and sets down a drink napkin.

I look at her nametag and smile. "Hello, Rosalie, can I get a Chardonnay? House wine is fine. I trust Jasper's taste hasn't faded that much since the keg days," I let the liquid sex envelope her ears. She smiles again and excuses herself. See? That's how it should have been with Bella. As easy as breathing. But no, there had to be an obstacle. I doubt we will ever move past this. Maybe I should just report her and hope the best for Bree.

Rosalie places a wineglass in front of me and pours out the devilish liquid. I grimace at the bubbles and look at Rosalie.

"You alright, sir?" I shake my head and place down my room key. She nods in understanding and charges the drink to the room. I grab my key when she sets it back down and head back upstairs.

"Edward? Can you come in here?" Alice's voice greets me as soon as I walk through the door. I sigh and walk into the office. Bella is still sitting in the same position but the ambience has greatly improved. "We've come to an agreement, Edward. Bella will pretend to date you for as long as necessary. To get the tabloids of your back, of course. I think Bella is just the girl you are looking for. She is a no name and she is not tied to anything except Bree. The only conditions are: you cannot threaten her with the cops and you cannot keep her from her job." Alice shows no sign that I actually have a choice in the matter.

I look at Bella, "Where do you work?"

"Sorry, Edward, but Bella has told me she will not disclose that information at the moment. It is her life. She will go back to Forks with you and move into your house. Bree will follow. Any questions?"

"No. Crystal clear," I grind my teeth together.

"Good, I now pronounce you fake partners. Now go get some sleep Jasper called the jet for tomorrows departure."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
I love Forks. That's probably why I basically own the town. It's small and isolated from the rest of the world. Like a fairy tale setting come alive.

The only downside is that everyone knows everyone and there is no privacy. Paparazzi usually isn't too bad there. It's the locals you have to watch out for. Now they, they take pictures and start rubies that produce a nice sum to pay for the first semester of their kids college. So as long as I keep to myself my life can function as natural as possible.

"Bella come on! You're gorgeous!" Alice rapped on the bathroom door again attempting to get Bella out of there. Her attempts were futile so far. "Bella if you do not get out of there this instant I will not let you eat!"

The ultimate threat.

Bella slammed open the door an stepped into the light.

Hot fucking damn. Alice did good. Real good.

Bella had her hair pulled up into a loose bun with two tendrils framing her face. The deep blue of her dress was a great contrast to her pale skin. Alice had applied a dark red lipstick to Bella's lips. A modern day Snow White.

And I'm about to take her to my fairy tale life. Irony.

"Let's go. The flight should be short and painless. Bree?" my voice was brisk an succinct.

"Here I am, Edward!" I turn around and see Bree smiling broadly.

I look at her and my heart melts. She's impossible to not love. I look back at Bella and my heart freezes slightly.

I'm using them.

Or are they using me?

Does it matter?

**BPOV**

I grasped Alice's arm as she directed me and Bree toward the taxi. Edward was not joining us on the way to the airport. Alice smiled reassuringly as she pushed us toward the dull yellow vehicle. I hugged her good-bye and let Bree slide in first. The dingy taxi was being driven by a dingy man. I handed him the directions Alice had printed out for us this morning and leaned back in my seat, praying this was all a horrible dream. I pinched myself. Nope, I'm still in the back of a taxi on my way to fake dating the richest man I know so he won't send me to jail and he won't be known as a flamer.

Great, life is just peachy keen.

"Bella?" Bree calls to me. I turn to look at her and feel as though the air has been punched out of me. "Where are we going to live?"

My small daughter has never looked so young. Her eyes wide with fear and rimmed red from her pointless tears. Bree has never been the one to act her age. And finally she is but not because she is having fun and is happy, no, it's because she's scared. I lean over to her and wrap my arm around her shoulder. "We're going to live with Edward now. Is that okay?" I whisper into her hair as I kiss it. She nods slightly and pulls away from me. The emptiness in my arms is heavy so I wrap my arms around myself and slowly drift off to sleep.

Once we are in the 'jet,' which is more like a giant airplane that should be holding a lot more people than the five of us, including the pilot, I take refuge in the farthest corner of the jet. The ride to airport was a little too short for my liking and wouldn't mind catching up on some much needed sleep. I lean the chair all the way back until it hits the wall and sigh in contentment.

"Can we talk?" I look up and see Edward Fuck-My-Brains-Out-Please Cullen. I nod and readjust my seat. "You don't have to do that, I can talk to you lying down," he snickers slightly but composes himself. I resist the childish urge to stick out my tongue by instead leaning into him. Damn he smells good. "I just thought we should discuss some things before we land as a couple." I nod. He smiles. Fuck it.

I lean in closer to him and smile, "I wanted to stick my tongue out at you, for being such an asshole."

"And now?" Edward raises his eyebrows. I smile and lean in to his ear.

"I want you to leave me the fuck alone until we have to talk again," I bite his earlobe gently and lean back into my chair. Edward's face twitches and he pinches the bridge of his nose. Cute, I pissed him off. Now he knows the feeling.

Instead of leaving like the gentleman I thought he was Edward lunges at me and straddles me on the chair. My breathing hitches my back starts to arch. Edward leans into my ear and nips the lobe like I did. "I don't play games, Isabella. If you look like you need to be fucked. I will fuck you. We don't play games. This is my world and you're only just starting to realize it." Edward runs the back of his hand softly against my cheek and kisses my forehead. The contrast of his sweet gesture with his harsh words were almost too much to bare.

"Buy me, Edward. How much would you pay for me?" I groan and wrap my arms around his neck to keep him steady. Realization sparks in his eyes and he untangles himself. I allow him to leave. But again, he is nothing but a surprise.

"Ten grand a day. But on one condition, Isabella," I nod to show him to go on, "I own you."

A/N: I hope this chapter was better!

Review Question: Have you ever used anyone?

Review for lemons and limes. Damn we're getting tropical!


	7. Tweeter AN

**WOAH! WOAH! WOAH! Okay, this is a really sad and blah, blah, blah author's note chapter! Totally lame…right? Yeah, it is. WELL! If you don't wanna read it go ahead and exit…please don't ! I will so lonely! Alright well….I'm trying to be more connected with my peeps. I don't know if I have any peeps yet so I might as well get some right? Okay…the point of the whole load of words is…I made a Twitter. Yeah, I feel kinda dirty about it too. ANYWAYS. I'm using the program to stalk…I mean, wait, no, I mean stalk some of my favorite stars and authors.**

**Now I feel like I'm begging.**

**I'm not begging.**

**HONESTLY.**

**I have a Twitter account and if you would like to hear about my crazy (ass)umption life…follow me dawgzz - my try at being "hip."**

**Team Hybrid is the name….**

**The thingy that I don't really understand yet…is teamhybrid88**

**Can you believe someone already had teamhybrid? I think it is a car thingamajig but, alas, I am too lazy to investigate.**

**So let me know if this is a shi(r)tastic idea…tell me no one will follow me and I WILL NOT be surprised.**

**I'm thinking about Facebook but, h-e-double hockeysticks [Hell for crazies like me ;) ] I don't check my daily one enough.**

**So….I say so a lot. **

**SO….tell me what you think about the ideas…..I'm lame.**

**3 ya all! **

**Updates for EVERY SINGLE story…will happen. Soon. :D**

**~TeamHybrid**


	8. Firegirls and Handlebars

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight but, I do own this stress.**

**A/N: Woot! Got accepted to a community! Was wondering why I was getting so much attention…anyways! Sorry for the lack of updates. Blame my professors. BLAME THEM. I hope to be going through this story in a different manner so let me know if you hate it. Should only be in two POVS…**

**8===D**

EPOV

I rearranged the manila file folders on my desk for the third time in the ten minute span since I got back to my office. Usually I am not so restless in my natural habitat. This is my territory. This is my life. This is my world. Nothing can hurt me here.

I shuffle the folders again and let out a vocal groan. "Fuck my life."

"Not yet, bro. Maybe I'll do that after Jazz," Alice prances into my office and smirks. I groan again and slide my hands to cover my face. Fuck my life. "Oh, Eddie, don't be so grim. You'll get nasty little wrinkles all over that pretty face of yours. Don't want that now do you? Nope, didn't think so."

Alice is wearing something that looks like a fireman's uniform. Except that her outfit is from last year's Halloween party and it is not a man's outfit but a highly feminine one. "Ali, this is a corporate building. Why are you showing your ass to the world?"

Alice smirks at me and takes the file pile from my hands, "Why not? It's Halloween in three weeks and the world deserves to see more of me! Why should Jasper be the only lucky person in the world?"

"Because if you're going to sleep with him he should be the only one who is that gifted. For Christ sakes', Alice, do you want to be a whore?" I press my hands over my eyes and count backwards from ten. Maybe I just need sex. Sex makes everything better. I reopen my eyes to se Alice taking my tweed coat off the rack and wrapping it over her shoulders. Her eyes are narrowed and her bottom lip is quivering. "Sorry, Alice, you're not a whore. It's just a rough day."

"Whatever, Eddie. I don't care what you think. It's just as cold as fuck in your office all time. Stop being such a cold hearted ass hat and gimme your schedule," Alice holds her tiny hand out expectantly and flexes her fingers. I shove a blue folder in her hand and she smiles. "Good boy, now go home and relax. No more Leah. I swear to jeebus if I walk in on another session I will die."

"Nobody asked you to come and barge into my house. Trust me, Leah is dead after that little episode. And the one after that…and after that…and after that…shit, Alice! Stop barging into my Me Time. If you die I still get to dance on your grave, Jasper promised me when I was seven years old I could."

"Oh, shove it up, Ed. Jazz was just jokin.' You don't hear me going on about your tree humping days!" Alice chuckles and turns to leave.

In a lasting try to save myself I call, "That tree's hole was perfect!" Er, I don't think that helped me much.

8-)

I pulled up into my driveway and saw that the rental car I had ordered for Bella had not even moved. She forced me to order her a big red truck. Now the monstrosity was parked outside my home and she was refusing to even use it. Wasteful little woman. If she wasn't so interesting I would have thrown out Alice's plans weeks ago.

But did I?

No.

Why?

Because Bree is the best thing that has even happened to Forks.

Not to me, just the town. Bree is good for the town and the town is good for Bree.

"Edward!" Bree smiles when I open the front door. I nod in her direction and go to the kitchen. I hear her small feet shuffling after me in anticipation. "What are you doing home so early? I thought you said you might not even come home tonight," Bree hops up on to one of my bar stools located off to the side of the kitchen. I shrug and open the fridge. "What are you making?" Geez, this girl can talk. Now. I almost miss her silent days. Almost.

"Bree, where's Isabella?" I hope to divert her away from my sandwich making time. I have no intention of sharing and do not even want to be prompted. Her little hopeful face will send me spiraling over the edge and before I even know it, Bree will have my entire sandwich and maybe a new car. I feel like putty to that little girl.

"She had to work, Miss Rose called her," Bree said simply. I turned to her and her eyes went wide with fear. I tried to hold back my actual emotions for Miss Swan but when she went out of her way to royally piss me off it was desperately hard. If it wasn't for the cherubic face of her kid I would have put a hole in my wall and that is someone no one wants to be a part of. "Bella said she would be back by dinner though and if you came home early to tell you 'Ten grand starts when?'"

I hiss a line of profanities and slam the mustard jar down on the counter.

"Swear jar," Bree reminds me and I go and place a quarter in the swear jar. Damn, Disney. Swear jar is going to clean me out. Bree offered to have me not pay for every word but instead for every instance. After a week I was out two hundred bucks. Now I'm out about three hundred for the entire duration of Bree's stay and I have a slight pride in knowing that my language has improved slightly around her. "Thank you, Edward," Bree whispers and looks at my sandwich. "Can I make one too?"

"Make a sandwich?" dumbfounded I hand Bree the lunch meat and watch her slide over the ingredients she will need. In silence we work to making triple layer sandwiches, loaded with everything in my cupboard, including the Doritos and gummy worms I bought Bree last week.

"How old are you, Edward?" Bree asks quietly and I laugh.

"Are you trying to have small talk with me, Miss Bree?"

"Would you rather I ask about how the weather is up there?"

"Funny, Bree. The weather up here is just fine. How is weather down at Four Foot Five Land?"

"I'm not that short for my age, you know? I read that I'm actually quite average for my age. Just because you haven't seen me with any kids…"Bree starts out strong but ends with a softer tone that causes me to put my sandwich down. I look over at her small form as she put the final touches on her sandwich.

"You have a point, Bree. How come I don't see you with any kids?" When I was a kid I remembered hanging out with everyone in the neighborhood. Maybe there aren't kid in Forks anymore. I should pay some people to have some kids. They don't even need to have them. I heard in that one movie about the pregnant girl who had sex in a chair…okay, besides the point…China gives out babies out sporting events but, she may have been joking. Doesn't matter I got great head in that theater…my home theater, of course. I do have some dignity.

"Kids are in school now."

"Wait, how old are you?"

"Ten, how old are you?" Bree asks me again.

"Bree, why aren't you in school?" I ask the girl and she shrugs. I want to press her but she grabs her sandwich and goes to in the direction of her bedroom.

BPOV

I slid my bike into the bike rack and readjusted my sunglasses. The one thing I had recovered since returning to Forks was my bicycle. I wasn't ready for a homecoming and sure as hell wasn't ready to tell my father I was living here again. Not ready or not brave enough? My subconscious nags me into going to my old home and staring at the place it all happened. It all changed. It all fell apart. And instead of being a big girl, I run. I run back to Edward's home and lock myself in my room.

I wish I was brave enough. I'm not. I get my bike back eventually. I go back to father's house. Take the emergency key from under the fake rock. Go inside and take the only thing I ever had to call my own: my bike.

Rosalie had called me and planned an emergency meeting. She wasn't happy about me going AWOL and to be completely honest I wasn't too happy either. Edward dragged me back to past and wanted to own me. No one owned me. No one ever will. Not again. So I scheduled to meet Rose at noon for lunch at a new diner. I didn't want to go anywhere I had been before.

Per her usual Rose looked flawless. She was wearing a white blouse with ruffles down the middle and a pencil coal skirt. Despite our differences in appearance, I hugged her amicably and complied to indulge in the wine list. I don't like to drink but Rose had done so much for me I just didn't know how to refuse. We spoke about the territory I was giving up and the customers that we're now unhappy with Rose, the manager. I tried my best to explain to her the situation between Edward and I. I carefully stepped over the gory details of my child neglect and his social damage. It wasn't my story to tell and did not want to make him any madder at me. Not about this at least.

I really do enjoy making Edward mad. It is just too damn easy. I know Bree must be happy here because she smiles using all her teeth now. When we lived in Seattle it was like a shooting star to see her smile; her smile was brief and rare against the gloom that was her life. That is the only reason I am back in Forks, for my Bree.

The new diner would have stood out in the Forks I knew but over the course of time the entire town's appearance and style had done a 180. Rose comments on how quaint and chic it is but I shrug. You can transform the school dork to look hot but in the end the dork is still the dork. And while it is a great plot line, a repeated plot line, it also is the same for this town.

I end lunch when I see a missed call from Bree. Rose says she understands but I can see it in her eyes she is truly baffled. I give her my new cell number and she threatens my life if I ever ignore her phone call. Even with her light laugh on the end of the threat I know she is dead serious. Great, death by stilettoed woman. Would be a cool gravestone phrase though, not gonna lie, RIP is so...sad. I would want 'Hells Bells was here.'

8]

My first impression of Edward's home was a string of profanities that Bree has forbidden me from using. But, in my new way of speaking, the house was glorious. Dark red brick walls with flower baskets hanging from the window sills, a wrap around patio, and a six-car garage. His house, mansion, was enormous for one. I wondered if he had ever lived with someone but his sharp look at me when I started to ask shut me down completely.

Edward was attempting. Sometimes to be nice. He let Bree have her own room and let me purchase this ugly red beast of a truck. Yes, I wanted it because it would heavily clash with his home and I knew he, too, hated it. But the more I looked at it I grew to love it's rustic feel and how it heavily compared Edward and I. They say you can tell a lot from a woman's purse but I believe you can tell a lot about a person from what they drive.

Edward drives a Mustang. Not a red one. Not a stick shift one. Edward drives a dark blue, almost black, automatic Mustang. For one it is odd that he bought a sports car that is not a stick shift and one that is not bright and flamboyant. So what have I gathered from his mysterious choice in cars and what little I have seen of his personality? I will tell you my good people: Edward is noticeably different from people and tries to hide away from an obscene amount of attention. Odd for his out loud disposition but that's what I have gathered. And on a side note, Edward is sex on legs and knows that he can get any girl. Any girl except me.

"Bella!" Bree bounds down the stairs of the porch to take my helmet for me. Her brown hair is in pig tails and she is smiling a full smile once again. Amazing. "Edward made me a sandwich! Technically I made it but we did it together. He came home early and was wondering where you were. I told him and he swore. I think by the end of the month I should cash in the swear jar!" Bree chatted happily as I lifted my bike into the bed of the truck.

"Bree, you know that money isn't yours to keep," I scolded her and she nodded exasperated. "Is Edward still here?" I asked praying he went off to find new prey for the night. Bree nodded happily and tugged on my hand trying to get me to go inside faster. For some unknown reason she wanted us all three to be BFFs. "Hold your horses, girly, I need to check the mail!" I lied to get her off my arm. For a ten year old she really had some grip on her.

I went to the mailbox and was surprised to see mail inside. I flipped through it casually and Bree made impatient sighing noises. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Isabella. Jackpot.

I wriggled my only letter free from the stack and handed the rest to Bree. She harrumphed and I chuckled, such a drama queen at this age. I ignored to see who sent it and if it was junk mail because I was excited to be able to get mail again. No one delivers to hobos. Such a shame...

I unfolded the letter with one word in the center of the page.

Bree.

I frantically flipped the envelope over and saw the blank return address. I felt paranoia wash over me and I glanced around to see who could be watching in the shadows. No one. No one I could see. The tears I had been holding back all week were threatening I break free. Not in front if Bree, I demanded my heart to reconcile with my brain, please, just this once agree on something! Bree clucked happily and took off running towards the house. I hadn't even realized I was standing still until a warm, worried voice called out to me from outside the blackness I was spiraling in. "Bella?"

And the world collapsed around me.

**A/N: Alright, well I just figured out how the story was going…I HAVE A PLAN! So that should mean the updates will be more frequent! YAY! Right? Eh, okay. Well anyways! I made me a facebook because my twitter idea…well, sucked. TeamHybrid Fanfiction. Woohoo! **

**Okay, house keeping things…**

**I love you guys who found me over in the community! I was really confused about why this story was getting so much random love…but thanks :)**

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	9. Wet Dreams and Daddy

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not even my dignity. **

**A/N: Sorry for the delay. I am a horrible rotten person who can't figure out if anyone is even reading. To make it up for you I give you…this chapter.**

**Chapter 9: Wet dreams and Daddy**

"Edward you just can't go around killing your house guests!" Alice screeched at the sight of Bella's limp body.

I had watched as Bella started to wobble in the middle of my drive and felt a thick rush of adrenaline kick through my bloodstream. Before I had even processed it, I had run down the steps of the porch, on to the driveway, and had Bella cradled into my arms just as her eyelids clamped shut. I yelled for Bree to go inside and grab my cell phone off the counter. Without a second thought I gathered the tiny, infuriating woman in my arms and rushed her indoors. Bree handed me the phone and went to sit by the sofa that now held her mother. The girl's eyes were blank and she stared at Bella's still form. The lack of emotional burst from Bree frightened me but not as much as the young woman lying carelessly on the sofa. As I dialed Alice I pushed Bella into a much more comfortable and safe position.  
Alice didn't answer.

Bree handed me Bella's cell phone and on the display was a 'Rosalie Hale.' Bree nodded encouragingly and I pressed 'send.' I had nothing to lose at that point

"Alice, I didn't fucking kill her!" I growled and pushed my way back to Bella's face. Her lips were undulating rapidly and I began to wonder if this is what a seizure looked like. I watched as the movements became more frantic and her eyelids begin to twitch themselves, "Alice, what the hell is happening now?" I whispered urgently and kneeled beside Bella.

While awake Bella was a force to be reckoned with. Her eyes were like daggers and her face was a lethal succubus. Nothing I would trust was noticeable. But while in this unknown slumber, Bella is an entirely different person. Her lips are light pink bow ties centered within an ivory face of marble. Even her eyes are more relaxed, no straining to give a dirty look. Bella had a cherubic face I could see now for certain.

Bella's movements became more frenetic until her mouth popped open in a perfect 'o' formation. A twitch in my pants communicated with my mind exactly what aesthetic purpose could come of that. I tried to force the thought back down behind my zipper but felt all willpower cease when Bella, very audibly, moaned. Yes, Isabella Swan moans in her sleep. Emmett who had lumbered back into the room just in time to hear the moan, snickered like a little school girl.

"Emmett! That is not funny! Bella could have a concussion and be suffering!" persistently Alice shoved her way beside me and held a hand to Bella's wrist. I followed suit and took her hand in mine.

"Oh, Edward...," Bella moaned again with much more vigor and simultaneously gripped tighter on to my hand.

I felt the blood rush to my face in embarrassment and quickly change course to my dick. The urge to wrap her grip southward overcame all reality and before I knew it I was leaning closer to Bella's face.

"Alice, I'm not sorry to say that Bella is not having a concussion but a very wet dream!" Emmett boomed and clutched his chuckling sides. The mixture of his laugh and boisterous comment sent Bella's eyes flying open and her hand to leave my own and go to her mouth. Her mouth...I wonder what she could do with that mouth of hers? my dick wondered.

Bella's eyes skipped across the room and landed on me. She pulled her hand from mine and held it to her chest.

"Hello? Bells? Bella? Are you there?" a voice whispered into my ear. The phone. I was still on her goddamn phone. I removed myself from the room and answered.

"Hello, my name is Edward Cullen. Isabella had fainted briefly and we worried that she had a medical condition. Are you close with her?"

The voice took a deep breath, "Mr. Cullen, Bella is tougher than she seems. Is she awake yet?" I confirmed the state of her friend at once. "Then she'll be fine. Just call me if it happens again." The line died at once and I snapped the phone shut. That was rude, I thought to myself as I placed the phone on the counter.

Alice was hovering over Bella asking her a variety of questions. "Are you sure you are alright?" "Can I get you anything?" "Do you want to shack up with Edward?"

Actually, that last one was Emmett.

"Guys! Get out!" I hollered. Alice just quirked her eyebrow and smirked. "Please…get out." I try again and she leads the big oaf out.

Bella has her head between her legs and she is counting back from ten audibly. "Ten, nine, eight…oh, God, I'm going to be sick…"

"Bella?" I sit beside her on the couch and put my hand on her back, she flinches from my touch. I pull my hand back and stare at her crumpled figure. "Do you need anything?"

"No, Edward, I don't need anything."

"Are you going to be alright?"

"Yes, Edward."

I jump up from the couch and pull her up with me. She squeaks and lands into my chest. "What are you doing?" her voice is rough and loaded with lust. My pants twitch again and I scold my body.

"Getting you ready. We have a thing tonight." I allude to the party we have to make an appearance at.

"Thing?" a crease forms between her eyebrows. I want to kiss it away. Fuck no. Not. Going. To. Happen.

"Yes, a thing. If you go to your room Alice will most likely me waiting for you to show up." I let go of her and watch her stumble up the stairs.

"Edward?" Bree peers behind the corner.

"Yes, Bree?" I smile and gesture for her to come in.

"Is Mom alright?" The same crease forms between her brows.

Damn, I hate lying to the kid but…"She's fine. Didn't you see her? She got up all on her own and even is going upstairs to get ready for our date tonight." I smile amiably and pet Bree on the head.

"Date?" Bree's eyes lit up at the words and she smiled broadly. "Okay, I'm going to see if she needs any help!" Bree ran off and up the stairs to join her prostitute mother and my psychotic sister. All so the said mother could come grind up against me all night. Yep, I'm going to Hell.

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I sat on the porch and rubbed my hands together. Fuck, it's cold tonight. I put on my some old jeans and a silk blue shirt. Bree informed me a looked a little bit like a pirate, in a 'good' way. Emmett told me I wasn't doing much to get rid of the gay rumors. I told Bree to have fun with Alice tonight. I told Emmett to fuck himself in the ass. He told me that that was my fetish. Bree told me good night and to be good to her mother. I want to ravage her mother over my kitchen table until she's so out of breath she can't fight with me anymore. I don't think that's what Bree thinks is 'good.'

"Edward?" a cool voice breathes in my ear. I turn slowly and see Bella. At least, she somewhat resembles Bella. Her deep brown hair has been piled on her head to show her swanlike neck. Her brown eyes seem more golden with the intricate eye makeup. Even her dress is so unlike Bella I can't believe that is the same woman I met a few weeks ago. Alice has forced her into a small black cocktail dress with a deep neck line. My eyes travel lower than they should and I feel her hand push my face back up to hers. "Hello, handsome," she winks and takes one of my hands in hers. I feel something twitch and for once it's not in my pants. "Are you alright?" The crease returns and I see the old Bella. She's still there. She's still here with me.

"Yeah, sorry," I grunt. Yeah, that's how many I am. I grunted for god's sake. Now, she must think I'm a Neanderthal because she chuckles. "Let's just go."

"Whatever you say, Edward."

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In my car the tension was not better. I could now fucking smell her! Strawberries. Mint. Two different scents. Two intermingling over sexual scents. Fuck me. Actually…I glance over at Bella who just smiles back at me. The little minx has not stopped staring at me since we got into the car.

"Bella, is there something I could help you with?" I whispered. I peeked again and she licked her lips.

"I just want to help you with something," Bella smirked and leaned over the center console. I felt heat all over. Shit, not while I'm driving.

"Bella, please. No. You don't have to do this." I begged the damn woman to not go through with the plans I just saw cross her face.

Fuck.

She pulled my zipper down. "Just, don't move so much, Edward." Bella smiled again and licked her lips slowly. She leaned into me and kissed my cheek, slowly working her way down. Her hair brushed against my nostrils and I was overcome with everything that was Bella. "Drive, baby. I'll do the rest."

My body betrayed me.

I have never been so fucking pissed about a hard on.

Not that Bella wasn't worthy of it.

Fuck me.

She pulled me out and wrapped her long warm fingers around my length. After one pump I was done for. I pulled off the road and into the forest.

Fuck me.

"Mmm, Edward," Bella moaned again and ran a light nail up my length. I gripped the steering wheel.

Her warm mouth was soon on top of me. Bobbing at a steady speed, while using her hands on the bit of me she couldn't intake. I felt myself hit the back of her throat but she didn't flinch. If she did I didn't notice at least. Never in my life…wait, what the fuck was I saying. Never the fuck mind.

"Bella, I don't want too …." I moved my arms off the wheel so she could move but she didn't fucking bother. She increased her speed and swirled her tongue over my head gathering all the precum into her mouth. Fuck it. I released everything I had into her willing mouth. When she had gotten her fill she took one more big slurp and with a single 'pop' she was off and back into her seat. I on the other hand was trying to stop panting like a monkey in heat. I slid myself back into my pants and reclined my seat back.

"That was yummy, Edward, thank you," Bella mumbled. I opened one eye and saw her face flushed with a blush.

"You're very…oh, shit." I saw the infamous red and blue lights pull up behind my car and groaned. Fuck.

The officer came along my side of the car and rapped the window twice. I rolled it down and the officer leaned his head so we could be at eye level. "What seems to be the problem, officer?" I squeaked like a pre pubescent boy.

"Why are you pulled over this far from the road, son? Don't you know it's dangerous this time of year?" The officer drawled. His mustache twitched with every word. I resisted my inner child craving of reaching and pulling on it. Just to see if it was real of course.

"I was tired and my girlfriend can't drive without her license. I thought it would be better than risking our lives on the road. Sorry, officer," I lied easily. Maybe it won't be as bad as I think.

"Now that's alright but I still need you and your companion to step out of the car for a breathalyzer test. We have had too many hooligans pulling off on the side of the road to light up." The officer moved out of the way so I could open the door. I looked over at Bella who was crumpled into the side of her door.

The officer was a few inches shorter than me but still held his ground pretty firm when I asked to see his badge. "Why?" he peered at me.

"I've been pulled over by fake cops before. They tried to steal my social security number and ruin my life. The usual suspects of course…"I trailed off when I saw his shiny badge. Charles J. Swan, Chief of Police.

Officer Swan walked over to the passenger side of the car and rapped on it. Moments later Bella appeared, head down.

"Bella?" The officer said incredulously.

Bella looked up at him and smiled weakly, "Hi, Dad."

**A/N: Review for an update. I'm PMS'ing and will hold a grudge….grudge over. I will be in Mexico soon so I will…try….to update. 'Tangled' set my heart aflame and somehow worked itself into my updating schedule.**


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